All my life until now I don't know why I never really got satisfied, I never really felt much happy about myself as i am, even until now. I don't know what's wrong with me but i'm just like this.. im always weak and doubting myself most of the time.
But despite all of this, there is one thing in this world that at least make me feel free and take way all of this fears and issue about myself.. This thing is basketball, this is the only thing that makes me happy and forgot everything about me. I don't know why but every time I play basketball I always get a good feeling about myself and forgot all of this shit about me. I'm not saying that im good at playing basketball it's just that i love it so much that it makes me feel better. Sometimes my friends called be "smiling face" because every time I play, I smile and laugh a lot in any simple things while playing basketball with them :).
I just realize it now that maybe basketball is my way of escape, for me to escape from all the issue about myself, to escape from all of my problems, to escape from reality and to escape from everything. Maybe without this I can't imagine how worst I can be right now. It really helps me a lot to build my confidence and to believe in myself. It makes me satisfied and happy.
But I'm not sure if it's really the right thing to do, To just use basketball for me to escape from all of this? or for me to face the reality? to escape or to face it? Obviously I think, to face all of my issue about myself is the right thing to do and not to escape from it but I don't know.. but maybe as of now Im still going to use basketball as my way of escape until I find the courage to face all of this doubt and weakness about myself. :D